With Mother’s Day around the corner, I figured it would be appropriate for me to write a post as a mother. You know, seeing as I am one and all. Disclaimer: I debated writing this because I didn’t want people to take it the wrong way. I recognize that everyone’s situation is different. What I say won’t apply to everyone. And I didn’t want to come across as a know-it-all. (Even though I totally am. I mean, a year and a half of being a mom makes me a pro, obviously.) But I decided to go ahead and do it anyway. Because although you can’t make everyone happy, if this post will encourage even one of you Moms out there, it’s worth it. So yeah. Since kids don’t come with a “How to Be a Mom” manual, I thought it might be fitting as a new-ish mom to give some insight to the soon-to-be and just-became Mothers out there. Or who knows, maybe these points will hit home to a few long-time Mamas as well. Honestly, these are more a reminder to myself more than anything else… But here are three important things I’ve come to realize since becoming Natalie’s mom.
………………………………………………………………………….
1.) Don’t let yourself go. Don’t lose yourself in this world of mothering and caregiving. Don’t sacrifice your sense of self. While your children become your priority, it doesn’t do them any good if you stop taking care of YOU. Stay active. Be healthy. Put an effort into getting yourself ready in the morning. Make time for yourself and your hobbies. Whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself, makes you feel like you, needs to be a priority too! I’m not saying it’s easy. (It’s not.) But having a child is an easy excuse to start giving up on doing things for you. Which in turn doesn’t end up being good for anyone. You are worth more than that.
And believe me, I’m not saying I have it all figured out. (I wish!) I’ve skipped many a workout when I was too tired, I ate a donut for breakfast this morning, and Lord knows how many times Jake has come home from work to find me still in my yoga pants and fuzzy robe. (It’s as sexy as it sounds.) But, I haven’t given up. I don’t do those things every day. I make an effort to exercise and eat well because it makes me feel a whole lot better about myself. On days that I put in the effort to workout and get myself ready I feel like I’m more productive and prepared to take on the day. Jake doesn’t hate if I’m actually showered and dressed when he comes home, either. Haha. Those are things that fill me up and make me a happier person, and in turn a better mom and wife. Even if working out doesn’t do much for you, whatever it is that does, do those things! Maybe it’s reading a book, or going to coffee with a good friend, or doing a devotional, or blogging, or sewing, or even bird watching… Make sure you fill your own cup, because truly, if your own cup is full, it’s amazing how much more you can pour into your kids and husband.
2.) Don’t be too hard on yourself. This might seem ironic following everything I just said in point one, I know. Buuuut it’s a balancing act. While you don’t want to let yourself go, you also have to give yourself some grace. After all, you just grew a tiny human in your belly. Or even if you adopted your baby, you are still raising a tiny human. That is a HUGE responsibility. So when those days happen where you didn’t get the laundry done, or you ended up eating pizza because the dinner you planned never happened, or you find yourself getting ready for bed and realize you’re still in last night’s pajamas… It’s ok. Tomorrow is a new day, and you’re doing the best you know how.
And it’s also SO hard not to compare yourself to others. Because even when you think you’re doing pretty good, scratch that, especially when you think you’re doing pretty good, someone comes along who’s doing even better. Someone who always looks put together and has the cutest outfits for their little girl. Someone who had a baby a month ago and already looks better now than you did pre-baby. (I’ll keep it real, that’s my particular sore spot… Darn these last 10 lbs. of baby weight.) Someone who threw the most amazing, Pinterest-worthy first birthday party for their son. Someone who is so proper, whose kids are always so well-behaved, and you just know they’ve never lost their temper and snapped unnecessarily after a sleepless night. The truth is, though, YOU are the best mama for your little babe in the entire world. No one knows her like you do. Her smell, her noises, her moods. No one loves him like you do. His giggles, his discoveries, his personality. And in the end, none of that other stuff matters. The cute clothes and Pinterest parties and perfect bodies, you’d never give up your sweet little baby for those things. Your mini you, that is all that matters. So just keep doing the best you know how.
3. All the clichés are true. All the mushy sayings, and silly phrases, and lovey sentiments about having kids and being a mom, they’re all true. That your heart doesn’t know how much love it can feel until you have a child. That it’s not easy but it’s worth it. That a mother’s work is never done. That the days are long but the years are short. That you start crying at everything. That they hold your hand for a little while but they hold your heart forever. That your life will never be the same but you wouldn’t trade it for anything. Basically, being a mom is one of the greatest blessings in the entire world. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll wish you were better at this or that. You’ll be more tired than you’ve ever been in your life. But it’s all so unbelievably rewarding. When your child holds your hand, or gives you a hug, or reaches for you with that silly smile and says “Mama”…
It’s simply the best ever.
Happiest of Mother’s Days to all you amazing Mamas out there!!! You should be celebrated for all that you do. Here’s to being the best moms we know how.
Wow, your work is beautiful. But so are the subjects. I am proud to say I am Tadashi’s Mom and Lindsey’s new Mother in Law. I love them both so much…