Friday Fun Facts

Most people suffer from morning breath. I suffer from morning voice.

 Oh, you’ve never heard of morning voice? Allow me to explain. It’s when you wake up and sound like a croaking frog for about half an hour. Or maybe a hoarse donkey is a better analogy. It makes it impossible to deny that you’ve just been sleeping. One too many times I’ve woken up to answer my phone and, after trying to give a hearty greeting, they reply with Did I wake you up? Embarrassing.

 And believe me. I try to gather myself and clear my throat, focusing very hard on sounding as normal as possible. Nothing works. So while people with morning breath can brush their teeth and use mouth wash, sadly, I have yet to find a cure for morning voice. If you have one? HELP A SISTER OUT. Which leads us to this month’s Friday Fun Facts:

1. Morning voice is much more inconvenient than morning breath.
2. If you haven’t worked out for an extended period of time and then jump back into the gym, you will definitely be sore the next day. However, you will be even more sore the second day. I call it Second Day Workout Syndrome. And it’s a great excuse to lay in bed five minutes longer.
3. Vaseline makes an excellent chap stick.
4. The Old Fashioned Oatmeal is the only way to eat oatmeal. None of that One Minute junk. Trust me on this one.
5. If you’ve made some coffee and you’re taking it on the go, make sure you do the Coffee Tip Test. (I’m full of new slogans this month, eh?)  In other words, after screwing on the lid to your mug, tip it over the sink to make sure you put the lid on right. It’s much better than accidently testing it in the car. On your lap. Wearing new pants…
6. The sweet butter from Texas Roadhouse? I’m pretty sure it’s one of the leading causes of high cholesterol in America. SO GOOD.
7. Biolage is the best shampoo and conditioner in the entire world. And it smells the best, too. Worth every penny.

8. The YouTube phenomena  Sh*t Girls Say, which has turned into a tidal wave of videos about the crazy things people say, is ridiculously hilarious. (Sorry for the swear word, Mom.) I have yet to see one that hasn’t made me laugh. The best one by far, though, is Sh*t Nobody Says. No matter how many times I’ve seen this, it never gets old. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and start your weekend off with a laugh. Or if you have seen it, go ahead and watch it again. Because it’s that funny.

Happy Friday, folks!

Samantha Gossard - March 1, 2012 - 5:19 pm

Morning voice = dry vocal folds. You live at a high altitude so naturally there isn’t as much humidity, if any at all. But you already knew that. :) Try running a cool or warm mist humidifier while you sleep. Make sure you’re hydrated during the day, and try drinking an herbal tea with lots of honey before bed and when you wake up. Hope that helps! You also could have acid reflux, or if you know that you do, that affects your voice and irritates your vocal folds!